Breastfeeding.... Doesn't come so naturally

   It's now been 3 days (4th one being today) and 4 nights with our beautiful baby boy Eli and let me tell you, they've definitely been challenging and have had plenty of ups and downs. Now I did know this was going to happen and that there was going to be sleepless nights and a gassy/hungry crying baby, sadly just knowing about it though does not prepare you for it. 

Challenge #1 (and the hardest one so far)
Breastfeeding. I never would have thought this would be such a difficult and technical process, it should just come naturally right? Wrong! Getting him to latch was the first problem I had, but surprisingly he and I caught on fairly quickly... too quickly I think. On my second night with Eli (our first night home) he just would not stop eating. He latched really well and just kept going and going until I had nothing left to give him... I was dry. My milk hadn't come in yet. Apparently what the nurses fail to tell you at the hospital is that this is typical the second or third night to bring your breast milk in. Well unfortunately my milk didn't come in till yesterday day so on the third night I had to resort to giving him formula from a bottle. He ate lots and slept great, I had an awesome nights sleep but I screwed myself over because low and behold in that one night of bottle feeding he forgot how to latch. I've started the latching process all over again. We're starting to get it now so hopefully today will be a better day/night and both Eli and I will love spending those precious moments together, instead of me getting anxious and stressed just thinking about how long it's going to take me to feed him (sometimes 15-20 mins, other time about and hour to get a proper latch). I love him so much and I feel so guilty when I get upset in my tiredness at him (when i really can't, he's just a baby and just as upset as I am), and just want him to stop crying but there is nothing I'm doing that is working and so I just get more stressed. I'm working hard on staying calm, and Chris is doing everything he can to support me in this challenge by giving little pep talks and just telling me how much he loves me and this is just a little blip we have to get through and in a couple of weeks we'll be pros at this. Last night went a lot better and a lot less stressful for feeding but then challenge #2 started once again we were on to a screaming baby that mommy couldn't help.


Challenge #2
 Gas. My poor little guy gets so much gas and unfortunately it's not something that has a quick fix, so when he's screaming at 5:30 in the morning after a huge meal and you're absolutely exhausted and all you can do is burp and rock and bounce and burp and rock and bounce and repeat it becomes hard on me cause I can't take it away and I know how much gas can hurt and all I want to do is fix him. One thing we've tried which helps a bit, is giving him some oval when he eats so that his stomach can digest properly and it seems to help a bit, it's just when he gets his really bad spouts like this morning that nothing really helps. He was in pain with gas this morning from 5:30 till about 9:30, when he was finally able to burp and poop that he settled down and was able to sleep. Luckily for me, I did not have to stay up that whole time and I was able to sleep a bit to catch up from being up since 4 with the feeding, all thanks to Lifesaver #1!

Lifesaver #1
My Parents. I'm so glad for the family support I have in my life right now, if it weren't for Chris and my parents I don't know what I'd do (I couldn't imagine being a single parent at this time, and those who are you deserve all the respect in the world that you made it through on your own). I spent not last night but the night before at my parents place (the one that I had to use formula cause I had no milk) and it was wonderful because my mom was able to take a shift for me that night (seeing that we had to give him a bottle) and because of that I was able to get a full four hours sleep at one time (the night previous I didn't sleep at all, Eli cried all night long). Last night went a lot better feeding wise (he slept for a full 3.5hrs between feedings) and everything went well until the gas pain started, and then he was a wake from 4 till 6:30 when I put him in his car seat cause we had to bring daddy to work, and then we went to my parents where he slept till 7:30 and my mom took over and let me sleep since the only problem was his gas. I did end up needing to feed him around 8 again but only a little bit, so when that was over my mom and dad took Eli and with about an hour or so of fussing were able to get him to sleep, the sleep that he needed after being up with gas for so long, and I was able to get the sleep I needed as well. I'm definitely happy to have them in my life and willing to help because I know that it could be completely different and I could be doing this all on my own, but I'm blessed with a loving and willing parents (who are thankfully also not working lol so that really helps) to help Chris and I out whenever possible.


 Lifesaver #2
  A soother. A big no no for at least 6 weeks I know, but it was the only way to stop him from crying when all he wanted to do was suck on my breast but not eat anything, I had no choice otherwise he would scream for hours (litterally, it took me hours of his screaming to cave in and give it a try). Instantly Eli started sucking and falling asleep. As soon as he's asleep the soother fell out and he was fine, and he slept for a long time. I'm still using this when he absolutely needs it, but for the most part he doesn't and thankfully he pushes it away as soon as he doesn't need it anymore. I know it's probably making our feeding times that much harder as well, but I'm going to continue until hopefully he just doesn't need it, because if it gives him the comfort that he needs when I can't then I'm going to allow it.

  Even though these last few days have been incredibly challenging, they've also been rewarding in making me see what all I do have, like my families constant love and support (and not just from my parents, but from my cousins, aunt and uncle and my wonderful most amazing husband. And Last but definitely not least my beautiful, precious healthy baby boy.

My beautiful boy!